The
evangelical church is always talking about marriage and family,
constantly berating people who are still not married by a certain age
for
not having managed to marry by that age. It is constantly cajoling
them to get married.
Anyone who is not married past a certain age is seen as selfish, ungodly, unholy, unrighteous, and even, in some cases, is assumed to be a homosexual, a fornicator, a pornography addict or a masturbation addict, just by virtue of being single. Apart from the fact that these are offensively crass assumptions about all singles, including single Christians, the fact that such assumptions are being made is the symptom of a more serious problem, which is that of the idolatry of marriage and family. The vicious lies that are constantly told about singles in the Church are only the surface of the tyrannical evangelical cult of marriage and family.
Marriage and family are now the idols of the modern evangelical church. Such idolatry has led to many spiritual errors being taught on these topics, which has produced spiritual pain and bondage, such as anxiety, desperation, depression and even suicide driven by a sense of despair over one’s single state. Such idolatry is itself the perversion of what God created to be honourable, turning what is in itself holy and blameless into something so perverse and completely dishonourable, through the perversion of its God-given purpose. Such idolatry is central to the cult’s teachings on what it means to follow Christ, making this distorted presentation of marriage and family a lynchpin of the cult’s teachings within the evangelical community.
A cult is a religious group or sect that claims to teach truth, but teaches instead distortions and perversion of the truth. Some of the key features of a cult are that there is a single leader around whom the cult centres, misapplication of Scripture to suit the cult leader’s agenda, and absolute control. Cults use emotional, psychological and spiritual manipulation to control their followers and to break them down in all these respects. Followers of cults typically have absolutely no sense of self-respect or human dignity, not because they are inherently stupid or less intelligent in general than others, but because they have suffered much manipulation without knowing this.
The evangelical church teaches that everyone must marry not because it is a holy matrimony, but because marriage is the ultimate favour from God. Marriage is viewed as a favour adapted to the pursuit of hedonistic ends, a means by which one would be able to enjoy more earthly gifts from God, especially sex and sexual pleasure. Such favour from God is taught to be a sign of blessing, and further that a lack of such favour would be a sign of not having been blessed or of having been less blessed by God than one might have otherwise been, if one were married.
Such teaching is a heresy, for the Scriptures make it clear that God’s kindness is shown forth in God’s drawing of the ungodly to Him, which need not entail that anyone so drawn would have to be married or that he would have specifically to be given the gift of a spouse in matrimony. These heretics further allege that the Scripture teaches that sexual companionship and sexual intimacy are God’s greatest blessings, and so, because it is only in marriage that sexual relations can be lawfully engaged in, which married evangelicals love to point out, in order to boast about their marital privilege, the aforesaid heretics therefore conclude that a person who is not married is not fully blessed by God.
This is the prosperity “gospel” taught by the conservative evangelical church, that one will be rewarded with a good spouse with a great sex life, a big, happy family and a home of one’s own, if one is godly. Those who are not married thus appear as less godly by comparison and therefore as deserving of the condemnation of not having a spouse, an unsatisfying sexless life, and no family, nor any home of one’s own, from their false perspective about what it would mean to be blessed and to live a satisfying life.
While these evangelicals claim that they affirm singleness, such an affirmation amounts to nothing more than mere lip service that is beyond insulting and patronising. This is evident in the legalistic rules that they impose upon singles which have no Scriptural basis, such as the following: a single person must serve in full-time church ministry only, even if he or she can hardly pay for his or her living expenses; a single person cannot serve in key ministry roles, like teaching or preaching; a single person must not work in a secular profession, or enjoy leisure time and go on holidays, because all their hours are to be devoted to God.
Of course, no such rules are imposed on married people whom evangelicals value above everyone else and never rebuke for their adultery, sexual harassment or sexual assault. Any such rebuke is done only for show to give the appearance that they despise sin. Evangelicals are always saying that singleness is fine, as long as one does not fornicate, as if one would find it difficult if not impossible to avoid fornication if one were single; while they will never say the equivalent of this to married people, asserting in their case that marriage is fine, provided one does not commit adultery, even though adultery is frequently committed by married people.
As if this were not enough, many married evangelicals laugh at and pour scorn on those who are still single and celibate after a certain age, even while claiming to affirm celibacy, and constantly warning singles to not fornicate. This is evidenced by their constantly telling singles why they cannot have sex, not out of genuine concern for their spiritual wellbeing, but because of their pride in having the marital privilege. The only help they offer to single Christians who are struggling with lust is to simply tell them to “get married” as if that was so easy to come by, and as if it could be achieved just by snapping one’s fingers. In offering such help, they never miss an opportunity to boast about their marital privilege, which could induce the singles to whom they are boasting, to stumble into the sins of envy, jealousy and of fornication itself, out of desperation.
These are the same evangelicals who endorse the adultery of politicians and pastors they support, as they are urged by their beloved leaders to overlook the adultery of these people. These are the same evangelicals who are addicted to soft ‘Christian-friendly’ pornography, that is, ‘Christian’ erotica, such as Mark Driscoll’s book Real Marriage or ‘Christian’ erotica websites which make the false distinction between pornography and erotica to justify their lusts, while criticising others for fornicating, committing adultery, pornography addiction, masturbation, and homosexuality. This shows that there is nothing godly about them, and but that they are extremely perverse, vile, hypocritical, and proud of it. It is no wonder many unsaved people despise evangelicals. Such unsaved people do not only include the liberals and Muslims whom these evangelicals love to target for criticism, but also many others like Hindus, Buddhists and Jews. Their hatred of evangelicals on the basis of perverse hypocrisy, has a real, legitimate basis.
These evangelicals scoff and laugh at God’s righteousness, even at the same time as they make a show of proclaiming His statutes. They do this by admonishing others not to fornicate, even though this was exactly what many of them had themselves done before they had married, and even though how many of the Christian singles whom they are admonishing, are not themselves fornicating as they themselves had once done. God despises the wicked who proclaim His Statutes. For as the Holy Scriptures says “But unto the wicked God saith, What hast thou to do to declare my statutes, or that thou shouldest take my covenant in thy mouth?” (Psalm 50:16).
Do not be deceived: the push by the evangelical church for young people to marry and to have children as soon as possible, is not driven by righteous motives. It is based instead on the idolatry of sex; that sex is the ultimate sign of blessing from God; and that if one were not to have sex, one would then less blessed, less worthy or less human than one would otherwise if one were sexually active. Since sexual relations outside of marriage violate Scripture, the push for marriage is the only viable way for a Christian to push his idolatry of sex unto others.
The concern about fornication by young singles that evangelical marriage idolaters have is not based on Scriptural grounds, but out of a self-centred concern of the violation of the exclusivity of their marital privilege. They love the exclusivity of their marital privilege and despise fornication and the adultery of their spouses, not because they fear God and hate sin with a pure heart, but because they want to maintain the exclusivity for themselves so that they can feel privileged and superior.
They feel that fornication by unmarried people is a sin against them, when it is always and only a sin against God. For as the Psalmist said, “Against thee, thee only, have I sinned, and done this evil in thy sight: that thou mightest be justified when thou speakest, and be clear when thou judgest” (Psalm 51:4). Their lack of the fear of God and hatred of sin is evident by their willingness to tolerate adultery by politicians and pastors they love. Their professed hatred of fornication is based neither on the fear of God, nor love of God, but adherence to a legalistic false religion which professes Christ, “having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof” (2 Timothy 3:5).
Anyone who is not married past a certain age is seen as selfish, ungodly, unholy, unrighteous, and even, in some cases, is assumed to be a homosexual, a fornicator, a pornography addict or a masturbation addict, just by virtue of being single. Apart from the fact that these are offensively crass assumptions about all singles, including single Christians, the fact that such assumptions are being made is the symptom of a more serious problem, which is that of the idolatry of marriage and family. The vicious lies that are constantly told about singles in the Church are only the surface of the tyrannical evangelical cult of marriage and family.
Marriage and family are now the idols of the modern evangelical church. Such idolatry has led to many spiritual errors being taught on these topics, which has produced spiritual pain and bondage, such as anxiety, desperation, depression and even suicide driven by a sense of despair over one’s single state. Such idolatry is itself the perversion of what God created to be honourable, turning what is in itself holy and blameless into something so perverse and completely dishonourable, through the perversion of its God-given purpose. Such idolatry is central to the cult’s teachings on what it means to follow Christ, making this distorted presentation of marriage and family a lynchpin of the cult’s teachings within the evangelical community.
A cult is a religious group or sect that claims to teach truth, but teaches instead distortions and perversion of the truth. Some of the key features of a cult are that there is a single leader around whom the cult centres, misapplication of Scripture to suit the cult leader’s agenda, and absolute control. Cults use emotional, psychological and spiritual manipulation to control their followers and to break them down in all these respects. Followers of cults typically have absolutely no sense of self-respect or human dignity, not because they are inherently stupid or less intelligent in general than others, but because they have suffered much manipulation without knowing this.
The evangelical church teaches that everyone must marry not because it is a holy matrimony, but because marriage is the ultimate favour from God. Marriage is viewed as a favour adapted to the pursuit of hedonistic ends, a means by which one would be able to enjoy more earthly gifts from God, especially sex and sexual pleasure. Such favour from God is taught to be a sign of blessing, and further that a lack of such favour would be a sign of not having been blessed or of having been less blessed by God than one might have otherwise been, if one were married.
Such teaching is a heresy, for the Scriptures make it clear that God’s kindness is shown forth in God’s drawing of the ungodly to Him, which need not entail that anyone so drawn would have to be married or that he would have specifically to be given the gift of a spouse in matrimony. These heretics further allege that the Scripture teaches that sexual companionship and sexual intimacy are God’s greatest blessings, and so, because it is only in marriage that sexual relations can be lawfully engaged in, which married evangelicals love to point out, in order to boast about their marital privilege, the aforesaid heretics therefore conclude that a person who is not married is not fully blessed by God.
This is the prosperity “gospel” taught by the conservative evangelical church, that one will be rewarded with a good spouse with a great sex life, a big, happy family and a home of one’s own, if one is godly. Those who are not married thus appear as less godly by comparison and therefore as deserving of the condemnation of not having a spouse, an unsatisfying sexless life, and no family, nor any home of one’s own, from their false perspective about what it would mean to be blessed and to live a satisfying life.
While these evangelicals claim that they affirm singleness, such an affirmation amounts to nothing more than mere lip service that is beyond insulting and patronising. This is evident in the legalistic rules that they impose upon singles which have no Scriptural basis, such as the following: a single person must serve in full-time church ministry only, even if he or she can hardly pay for his or her living expenses; a single person cannot serve in key ministry roles, like teaching or preaching; a single person must not work in a secular profession, or enjoy leisure time and go on holidays, because all their hours are to be devoted to God.
Of course, no such rules are imposed on married people whom evangelicals value above everyone else and never rebuke for their adultery, sexual harassment or sexual assault. Any such rebuke is done only for show to give the appearance that they despise sin. Evangelicals are always saying that singleness is fine, as long as one does not fornicate, as if one would find it difficult if not impossible to avoid fornication if one were single; while they will never say the equivalent of this to married people, asserting in their case that marriage is fine, provided one does not commit adultery, even though adultery is frequently committed by married people.
As if this were not enough, many married evangelicals laugh at and pour scorn on those who are still single and celibate after a certain age, even while claiming to affirm celibacy, and constantly warning singles to not fornicate. This is evidenced by their constantly telling singles why they cannot have sex, not out of genuine concern for their spiritual wellbeing, but because of their pride in having the marital privilege. The only help they offer to single Christians who are struggling with lust is to simply tell them to “get married” as if that was so easy to come by, and as if it could be achieved just by snapping one’s fingers. In offering such help, they never miss an opportunity to boast about their marital privilege, which could induce the singles to whom they are boasting, to stumble into the sins of envy, jealousy and of fornication itself, out of desperation.
These are the same evangelicals who endorse the adultery of politicians and pastors they support, as they are urged by their beloved leaders to overlook the adultery of these people. These are the same evangelicals who are addicted to soft ‘Christian-friendly’ pornography, that is, ‘Christian’ erotica, such as Mark Driscoll’s book Real Marriage or ‘Christian’ erotica websites which make the false distinction between pornography and erotica to justify their lusts, while criticising others for fornicating, committing adultery, pornography addiction, masturbation, and homosexuality. This shows that there is nothing godly about them, and but that they are extremely perverse, vile, hypocritical, and proud of it. It is no wonder many unsaved people despise evangelicals. Such unsaved people do not only include the liberals and Muslims whom these evangelicals love to target for criticism, but also many others like Hindus, Buddhists and Jews. Their hatred of evangelicals on the basis of perverse hypocrisy, has a real, legitimate basis.
These evangelicals scoff and laugh at God’s righteousness, even at the same time as they make a show of proclaiming His statutes. They do this by admonishing others not to fornicate, even though this was exactly what many of them had themselves done before they had married, and even though how many of the Christian singles whom they are admonishing, are not themselves fornicating as they themselves had once done. God despises the wicked who proclaim His Statutes. For as the Holy Scriptures says “But unto the wicked God saith, What hast thou to do to declare my statutes, or that thou shouldest take my covenant in thy mouth?” (Psalm 50:16).
Do not be deceived: the push by the evangelical church for young people to marry and to have children as soon as possible, is not driven by righteous motives. It is based instead on the idolatry of sex; that sex is the ultimate sign of blessing from God; and that if one were not to have sex, one would then less blessed, less worthy or less human than one would otherwise if one were sexually active. Since sexual relations outside of marriage violate Scripture, the push for marriage is the only viable way for a Christian to push his idolatry of sex unto others.
The concern about fornication by young singles that evangelical marriage idolaters have is not based on Scriptural grounds, but out of a self-centred concern of the violation of the exclusivity of their marital privilege. They love the exclusivity of their marital privilege and despise fornication and the adultery of their spouses, not because they fear God and hate sin with a pure heart, but because they want to maintain the exclusivity for themselves so that they can feel privileged and superior.
They feel that fornication by unmarried people is a sin against them, when it is always and only a sin against God. For as the Psalmist said, “Against thee, thee only, have I sinned, and done this evil in thy sight: that thou mightest be justified when thou speakest, and be clear when thou judgest” (Psalm 51:4). Their lack of the fear of God and hatred of sin is evident by their willingness to tolerate adultery by politicians and pastors they love. Their professed hatred of fornication is based neither on the fear of God, nor love of God, but adherence to a legalistic false religion which professes Christ, “having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof” (2 Timothy 3:5).
Owing
to the idolatry of sex and the legalistic rather than genuinely
God-fearing opposition to fornication, marriage is perverted into a
forum
for one to indulge in one’s sexual desires without any
restraint. Instead of teaching or praying for singles to exercise
self-control, which is a fruit of the Spirit, “against which there is no Law” (Galatians 5:22-23), they are now taught to marry
as if it were a solution to lust.
This is not based on a godly mindset, but rather the mindset that as long as one engages in sexual relations within marriage, there can be no lust or perversion, because it is lawful in the eyes of God. It is a legalistic doctrine that only stipulates adherence to the mere letter of the law as pleasing to God, while allowing or promoting contempt for the spirit of the law or ignorance of the spirit of the law; it appears to insinuate that something is lawful, just because one does not find that the strict letter of the law does in fact prohibit it. It is a legalistic mindset which affirms that fornication is wrong, but yet thinks that there is nothing wrong with marrying just to have sex, or with engaging in marital conjugal relations for the sole or main purpose of pleasure.
Marriage, in the teaching of these people, has now been repurposed as a means for some to indulge in their sexual desires, rather than serving as a means for one to render service unto God through holy matrimony. Such a perversion of marriage is itself vile because it not only goes against God, but also goes against what He has created, and so turns it into something for one to use as a means of indulging in one’s sexual lusts.
Nowadays, many evangelical Christians marry, not because they seek to serve God through holy matrimony, but rather because they want an outlet to satisfy their sexual desires. They want the sex. They want to have someone helping them in case hard times come. They want the companionship. They want to attain greater wealth and financial security. For some of them, they want it, because it is considered more respectable in their profession for someone to be married, as is especially the case for pastors. Yet, many of them do not want children, while desiring to have the sex and the greater financial security that would come from having two incomes.
Even among those who want children, they want to limit the number of children they have, to enjoy more time for themselves, more money to buy luxury goods, and more sexual pleasure. This simply shows how self-centred evangelicals are, and how marriage has been perverted by even professing Christians into something that one uses a tool by which to obtain an advantage from another person, rather than as a way for them to make sacrifices in service of God.
Yet, these same selfishly married, sex-obsessed evangelical Christians have made it a rule that everyone must marry and have a family, a rule which they then impose on everyone else. They have no such right to impose such a human-made rule, which is absolutely unscriptural and hypocritical on their part. To manipulate people into feeling guilt for their singleness, they say that not marrying is a sin and that it will as such lead to a curse. This is utterly unscriptural as nowhere in the Word of God does it ever say the singleness is a curse. Many great men of God, both in the Old and New Testament were single, such as Daniel, Elijah, Jeremiah, John the Baptist, John the Apostle, Luke, Barnabas and Paul. St Paul even affirmed singleness, saying:
But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord:
This is not based on a godly mindset, but rather the mindset that as long as one engages in sexual relations within marriage, there can be no lust or perversion, because it is lawful in the eyes of God. It is a legalistic doctrine that only stipulates adherence to the mere letter of the law as pleasing to God, while allowing or promoting contempt for the spirit of the law or ignorance of the spirit of the law; it appears to insinuate that something is lawful, just because one does not find that the strict letter of the law does in fact prohibit it. It is a legalistic mindset which affirms that fornication is wrong, but yet thinks that there is nothing wrong with marrying just to have sex, or with engaging in marital conjugal relations for the sole or main purpose of pleasure.
Marriage, in the teaching of these people, has now been repurposed as a means for some to indulge in their sexual desires, rather than serving as a means for one to render service unto God through holy matrimony. Such a perversion of marriage is itself vile because it not only goes against God, but also goes against what He has created, and so turns it into something for one to use as a means of indulging in one’s sexual lusts.
Nowadays, many evangelical Christians marry, not because they seek to serve God through holy matrimony, but rather because they want an outlet to satisfy their sexual desires. They want the sex. They want to have someone helping them in case hard times come. They want the companionship. They want to attain greater wealth and financial security. For some of them, they want it, because it is considered more respectable in their profession for someone to be married, as is especially the case for pastors. Yet, many of them do not want children, while desiring to have the sex and the greater financial security that would come from having two incomes.
Even among those who want children, they want to limit the number of children they have, to enjoy more time for themselves, more money to buy luxury goods, and more sexual pleasure. This simply shows how self-centred evangelicals are, and how marriage has been perverted by even professing Christians into something that one uses a tool by which to obtain an advantage from another person, rather than as a way for them to make sacrifices in service of God.
Yet, these same selfishly married, sex-obsessed evangelical Christians have made it a rule that everyone must marry and have a family, a rule which they then impose on everyone else. They have no such right to impose such a human-made rule, which is absolutely unscriptural and hypocritical on their part. To manipulate people into feeling guilt for their singleness, they say that not marrying is a sin and that it will as such lead to a curse. This is utterly unscriptural as nowhere in the Word of God does it ever say the singleness is a curse. Many great men of God, both in the Old and New Testament were single, such as Daniel, Elijah, Jeremiah, John the Baptist, John the Apostle, Luke, Barnabas and Paul. St Paul even affirmed singleness, saying:
But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord:
But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife.
There
is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman
careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body
and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the
world, how she may please her husband.
And
this I speak for your own profit; not that I may cast a snare upon you,
but for that which is comely, and that ye may attend upon the Lord
without distraction.
(1 Corinthians 7:32-35)
According to St Paul, marriage is good but singleness is even better because it allows one to focus on serving God without any distractions, whereas a married person cannot serve God without distractions. He or she has to please his or her spouse. St Paul even wishes that more were like him, not as one who is hesitantly or grudgingly content with singleness after having lost all hope of finding a spouse, after years of repeatedly trying find a spouse with much difficulty but with no success, but rather as one who wholeheartedly embraces and rejoices in his singleness. The only compelling reason why a person should actively seek to marry is that he or she should lack self-control sexually. Nevertheless this is a counsel, not a command that such people must marry. Otherwise, a person may choose to remain single.
The evangelicals who are pushing people into marriage and indoctrinating people with the thinking that singleness is a curse, have a sinister agenda in view, the main end of which is the vindication of their idolatry. In particular, they deliberately misinterpret 1 Corinthians 7:9 which says that “But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn” to mean that people must marry just because of some mild sexual desires they might happen to have; or because the Scripture endorses, even if it does not mandate, the idea people might seek to marry, just to have sex.
The real meaning of 1 Corinthians 7:9 is that people should seek to marry if they cannot control themselves. It is not directed to people who have sexual desires, but can control themselves. It is meant as a counsel, not a command for such people. Even if a person cannot control himself or herself, marriage is not the solution for lust, for lust is the result of the heart, and not the absence of a viable outlet for sexual desires.
A person may be engaging in regular sexual relations with his or her spouse all day, but yet be still addicted to masturbation and pornography as much as his or her single counterpart. That is not unknown. Professing ‘christians’ who consume erotica regularly and engage in regular marital conjugal relations have been known to be addicted to masturbation and watch pornography with their spouses. This shows that engaging in frequent marital conjugal relations with one’s spouse does not kill or even reduce lust, because “the eyes of man are never satisfied” (Proverbs 27:20). So, 1 Corinthians 7:9 cannot be interpreted as a solution to lust as some professing Christians sadly do.
Those who interpret it as a solution to lust and who teach young people, who are trying to overcome lust, that they are in sin for being unmarried, are only holding them in spiritual bondage. It is not easy, or feasible even in some cases, for people to find a spouse, even if they have very strong sexual desires that are out of control. It follows that the idea that people should just “get married” when they have strong sexual desires is not only unhelpful, but oppressive, as it binds a person to a legalistic man-made rule, while doing nothing to kill or reduce lust. Legalism truly kills and it is no different in this regard for legalistic teachings on marriage, sex and family.
The legalistic teaching on marriage and family in the evangelical church is the centre of a tyrannical cult. It accuses people of being ungodly, unrighteous or holy, just by virtue of their singleness. This has led many single Christians to falsely think that they are less blessed by God for being single than they would otherwise be if they were married; and that this is so entirely as a result of their sins.
Such teaching has thus instilled in them deep feelings of guilt, anxiety and despair, just for continuing to remain single even after they have reached a certain age. It is the belief that they have sinned against God or that they have been less than perfectly righteous before Him, that makes them feel condemned and unworthy for being single.
Yet the evangelical church which claims to affirm singleness, still continues to make singles feel this way because of their tyrannical thinking that people must marry and have a family, to be holy and righteous, and in order to serve as a sign of blessing. It is all to justify their idolatry, all under the false guise of adhering to Scripture.
The cult of 'marriage and family' is the conservative evangelical prosperity "gospel". Do not be deceived, Jesus said that we must live for Him, not marriage or family.
According to St Paul, marriage is good but singleness is even better because it allows one to focus on serving God without any distractions, whereas a married person cannot serve God without distractions. He or she has to please his or her spouse. St Paul even wishes that more were like him, not as one who is hesitantly or grudgingly content with singleness after having lost all hope of finding a spouse, after years of repeatedly trying find a spouse with much difficulty but with no success, but rather as one who wholeheartedly embraces and rejoices in his singleness. The only compelling reason why a person should actively seek to marry is that he or she should lack self-control sexually. Nevertheless this is a counsel, not a command that such people must marry. Otherwise, a person may choose to remain single.
The evangelicals who are pushing people into marriage and indoctrinating people with the thinking that singleness is a curse, have a sinister agenda in view, the main end of which is the vindication of their idolatry. In particular, they deliberately misinterpret 1 Corinthians 7:9 which says that “But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn” to mean that people must marry just because of some mild sexual desires they might happen to have; or because the Scripture endorses, even if it does not mandate, the idea people might seek to marry, just to have sex.
The real meaning of 1 Corinthians 7:9 is that people should seek to marry if they cannot control themselves. It is not directed to people who have sexual desires, but can control themselves. It is meant as a counsel, not a command for such people. Even if a person cannot control himself or herself, marriage is not the solution for lust, for lust is the result of the heart, and not the absence of a viable outlet for sexual desires.
A person may be engaging in regular sexual relations with his or her spouse all day, but yet be still addicted to masturbation and pornography as much as his or her single counterpart. That is not unknown. Professing ‘christians’ who consume erotica regularly and engage in regular marital conjugal relations have been known to be addicted to masturbation and watch pornography with their spouses. This shows that engaging in frequent marital conjugal relations with one’s spouse does not kill or even reduce lust, because “the eyes of man are never satisfied” (Proverbs 27:20). So, 1 Corinthians 7:9 cannot be interpreted as a solution to lust as some professing Christians sadly do.
Those who interpret it as a solution to lust and who teach young people, who are trying to overcome lust, that they are in sin for being unmarried, are only holding them in spiritual bondage. It is not easy, or feasible even in some cases, for people to find a spouse, even if they have very strong sexual desires that are out of control. It follows that the idea that people should just “get married” when they have strong sexual desires is not only unhelpful, but oppressive, as it binds a person to a legalistic man-made rule, while doing nothing to kill or reduce lust. Legalism truly kills and it is no different in this regard for legalistic teachings on marriage, sex and family.
The legalistic teaching on marriage and family in the evangelical church is the centre of a tyrannical cult. It accuses people of being ungodly, unrighteous or holy, just by virtue of their singleness. This has led many single Christians to falsely think that they are less blessed by God for being single than they would otherwise be if they were married; and that this is so entirely as a result of their sins.
Such teaching has thus instilled in them deep feelings of guilt, anxiety and despair, just for continuing to remain single even after they have reached a certain age. It is the belief that they have sinned against God or that they have been less than perfectly righteous before Him, that makes them feel condemned and unworthy for being single.
Yet the evangelical church which claims to affirm singleness, still continues to make singles feel this way because of their tyrannical thinking that people must marry and have a family, to be holy and righteous, and in order to serve as a sign of blessing. It is all to justify their idolatry, all under the false guise of adhering to Scripture.
The cult of 'marriage and family' is the conservative evangelical prosperity "gospel". Do not be deceived, Jesus said that we must live for Him, not marriage or family.
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