The Evils of Fallen Marriages and Families

Many conservatives love to talk about marriage and family, assuming all manner of righteousness because they supposedly "value marriage and family" while those "evil liberals" do not. While it is true that western liberals despise these institutions of marriage and family, this does not automatically mean that conservatives "value marriage and family".

These 'conservatives' who claim to "value marriage and family" do not truly value marriage and family, for those love such institutions for the wrong reasons. Instead, they idolise them, elevating them above God. While marriage and family must be respected, idolising them is evil. For idolatry is always evil (Exodus 20:3-5; Matthew 22:37; Luke 10:27). 

'Marriage and family' heretics claim that marriage and family are mandatory for Salvation. They love to talk about how a person must first, be saved, second, get married as soon as possible (to prevent fornication, as if marriage is a cure for lust and that marriage is about sex), and third, have children as soon as possible after marriage and have as many as possible, until one can no longer bear children. They pervert Scripture, to make marriage and family to be necessary for Salvation - all while claiming to oppose "works-based salvific doctrine".

What must Christians living under the New Covenant marry and have as many children as they can? To bring about the line of the Messiah, Jesus Christ? Even under the Old Covenant which these heretics are obsessively fixated on, marriage and family was not a requirement for Salvation. It did not mean that a person was holy or unholy, righteous or unrighteous. Prophet Daniel never married. Neither did Prophet Jeremiah. So, are you evangelicals going to tell me that you are holier and more righteous than them because you are married with a family, while they were not? Are that you are more "blessed", favoured in the eyes of God, because you have a marriage and family while these supposedly "incel" ('involuntarily celibate') Old Testament Prophets and also for that matter, New Testament Apostles and Prophets were not married with family? 

Jesus Himself was not married with family, and neither were Apostle Paul and Barnabas, nor Luke, John the Baptist and many others. That itself shows that marriage and family are not needed for Salvation. You may say that no one is suggesting that people must marry and have a family to be saved, because that would promote "works Salvation", and that "no one can be saved by works" as Ephesians 2:8-9: For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast. 

Let me ask you, do believe one must be righteous and holy to enter the Kingdom of Heaven, or by faith alone, where one does not need to do good works? If you say you do not need good works, tell me what Jesus meant when He said: "For I say to you, that unless your righteousness exceeds the righteousness of the scribes and Pharisees, you will by no means enter the kingdom of heaven." (Matthew 5:20). That one need only to "just believe, just believe, and just believe"? What foolishness! And yet yourselves say you must marry and have a family to be a true follower of Christ! You hypocrites! 

It is not by marrying and having families that a person is righteous. It is by obeying the Will of God, loving God with all one's heart, soul, mind and strength and loving one's neighbour as oneself. For as the Holy Scriptures testify:

 “Teacher, which is the great commandment in the law?”

Jesus said to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’  This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets.” 

(Matthew 22:36-40)

Marrying does not make a person righteous or unrighteous. It is the heart that determines whether one is righteous or not. It is not marriage itself that is honourable, but marrying for righteous reasons that is honourable as per 1 Corinthians 7:36-38:

But if any man thinks he is behaving improperly toward his virgin, if she is past the flower of youth, and thus it must be, let him do what he wishes. He does not sin; let them marry.  Nevertheless he who stands steadfast in his heart, having no necessity, but has power over his own will, and has so determined in his heart that he will keep his virgin, does well. So then he who gives her in marriage does well, but he who does not give her in marriage does better.

No where does St Paul say that marriage is itself an honourable institution. Rather, it is one's conduct in relation to this institution of marriage that determines whether one is righteous. This conduct all starts in the heart, where one's motives and desires lies. If one's motives and desires for marriage are wrongly ordered, one's conduct in relation to marriage is wrong and sinful. If one's motives and desires for marriage are rightly ordered, then one's conduct in relation to marriage are right and good.

People nowadays love weddings and to get married, but not for righteous reasons. Rather, they marry for self-centred reasons, be it for sexual gratification, financial security, status and power. Indeed, many married people married for any combination if not all of these reasons, explaining why their marriages are dysfunctional - because their marriages were not based on the foundation of Christ. 

Evangelical conservatives who idolise marriage and family promote it as a means to gain all of these things, to satisfy the lust of the eyes, lust of the flesh, and the pride of life (1 John 2:16). They do not respect marriage and family by idolising it. Rather, they pervert it, and as if that were not enough, blaspheme God by claiming that their marriage and family-idolatry is based on true Christian doctrine. 

The real motives of these evangelical conservatives in pushing marriage and family is not about holiness or righteousness. It is ultimately about power, the power to create a status for themselves in both the Church and society. This power comes from their ability to boast in the earthly sense that they have the 'good life', in which they have the so-called 'legal right' from a Biblical perspective to indulge in the lust of the eyes, lust of the flesh and the pride of life - in having endless sex, and endless credit, as well as no more than the number of children they want, who they bear for self-centred reasons. 

For from the perspective of their perverted theology of marriage and family, marital sex is something to be idolised, not done in a rightful decent way, as indicated by their despicable unnatural sexual acts they do, under the canopy of marriage, in the name of 'glorifying God'. Contraception is justified by indulging in passionate sex without being open to having children - all of course, "because they are married". Children are only to be borne as a means of ensuring that one does not become lonely in old age, and not as a means of self-sacrifice in rearing children to be righteous and holy. A wife is justified in her 'independence' as a matter of respecting "women's empowerment", and that she has a right to make decisions that overturn that of her husband, or are equal to that of her husband. She has a so-called "right" to neglect her duties as a wife, all under the false pretext of "men's oppression". 

Conservatives, and even non-conservatives, think that marriage and family is a source of comfort in a harsh, brutal world, but that is not only too optimistic; it completely omits to point out that fallen marriages and families in an evil fallen world are full of troubles, chaos and disorder, all owing to sin and wickedness. A fallen marriage is not necessarily one that ends in divorce, though such a marriage most certainly is. It is one that is not in accordance to the will of God and based on the foundation of Jesus Christ. A fallen family is not necessarily one that is a 'broken family' where there is a solo parent, usually a single mother, and children. It is one that does not follow the Will of God, and based on the foundation of Jesus Christ. 

God created marriage so that humankind can populate the earth with families, to perpetuate a collective humankind that seeks after God. He never created humans to be 'individuals' living their own individual lives, and chasing after their own individual desires, aspirations, dreams, ambitions, and visions. He created humans to live as a collective humankind, not just in one's own circle of family and friends, but as a humankind that would love God and love one's neighbour as oneself. One's neighbour goes beyond one's own circles of family and friends. It extends to even one's enemies. 

The blessed Samaritan who showed love to the Jewish man who was attacked by bandits by aiding him in his time of need was his neighbour, despite being outside of not only the Jewish man's family and tribe, but an enemy. Let us hear the words of Christ:

But he, wanting to justify himself, said to Jesus, “And who is my neighbor?”

Then Jesus answered and said: “A certain man went down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and fell among [b]thieves, who stripped him of his clothing, wounded him, and departed, leaving him half dead. Now by chance a certain priest came down that road. And when he saw him, he passed by on the other side. Likewise a Levite, when he arrived at the place, came and looked, and passed by on the other side. But a certain Samaritan, as he journeyed, came where he was. And when he saw him, he had compassion. So he went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine; and he set him on his own animal, brought him to an inn, and took care of him.On the next day, [c]when he departed, he took out two denarii, gave them to the innkeeper, and said to him, ‘Take care of him; and whatever more you spend, when I come again, I will repay you.’ So which of these three do you think was neighbor to him who fell among the thieves?”

And he said, “He who showed mercy on him.”

Then Jesus said to him, “Go and do likewise.”

(Luke 10:29-37)

Let us be like the blessed Samaritan who was the real neighbour of the Jewish man who was attacked by bandits, who showed him love and care in his time of need! Let us do away with all tribalism! Let us do away with loving only one's family and friends, extending love to even our enemies as did the blessed Samaritan!