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Agape Love versus Romantic "Love" and the Push for Sodomite "marriage"

One of the key arguments that supporters of sodomite "marriage" use is that "love is love". They argue that because marriage is about love, people should be able to get married as long as they love each. This is based on the idea that the foundation of marriage is love, by which they mean romantic sentimental love.

As such, opponents of sodomite "marriage" counter by asking, what if marriage was more than about love, as this Australian Federal Member of Parliament asks in a parliamentary debate:



However, this barely addresses the real issue in any adequate manner. It simply only raises a question, and does not demonstrate why marriage should not be extended to sodomites, on the basis that all love is valid. As such, a proponent of sodomite "marriage" could respond by arguing that marriage is more than about love, but still is about love, by which they mean, of course, that romantic love is needed before a man and woman enter the marriage covenant.

The reason why opponents of sodomite "marriage" in Australia have not been able to make an unequivocal argument rebutting the argument that all love is love such that marriage should be extended to sodomites, is that so many of them have a wrong unbiblical view of marriage.

It is a real tragedy that most, if not almost all Christians in the west, including those of the seniors generation, do not accept that romantic love is a lie. They think that romantic love is needed by the man and woman before they enter the marriage covenant, and that it is an abomination if they do not, especially if the woman feels no such love. It is as if they almost equate it to "forced" marriage, or an arranged marriage where a woman is simply degraded for that.

However, no where in the Bible does it require romantic love for a woman before entering a marriage covenant. Even in relation to a man who is the one who leaves his father and mother to become one flesh with his wife is there no requirement. (Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:5; Mark 10:7; Ephesians 5:31). 

The idea of "choosing" who one wants to marry based on romantic love is never found in the Bible. Nor is it found in the annals of history, except in only the very recent 20th century western culture. Not even history verifies finding a mate based on such romantic love.

In Song of Solomon, the Shulamite girl says:

Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth—
For your[b] love is better than wine.

Because of the fragrance of your good ointments,
Your name is ointment poured forth;
Therefore the virgins love you.

Draw me away!

(Song of Solomon 1:2-4)

This could be described as her fantasies about her beloved, which has led her to feel some love, that is, love manifesting in emotion and feelings, and not love based on duty or commitment. 

The daughters of Jerusalem encourage her in her romantic love before marriage, as they represent the daughters of the world, demonstrating themselves to be enraptured by such romantic love, a false form of love where it manifests before commitment, by chanting, for example "We will run after you," in response to the Shulamite woman's first statement of premarital romance in Song of Solomon 1:2-4. 

The Shulamite woman later charges them:

I charge you, O ye daughters of Jerusalem, by the roes, and by the hinds of the field, that ye stir not up, nor awake my love, till he please (Song of Solomon 3:5).
I charge you, O daughters of Jerusalem, that ye stir not up, nor awake my love, until he please (Song of Solomon 8:4).

She charges them not to stir up her love until it pleases, that is, to not strive for it, because she had not been consumated with her lover (Song of Solomon 3:2-4), and had failed her obligation to respect and obey him in loving him (Song of Solomon 5:2-8) respectively. In doing so, she rightly recognises that such intimate marital love is not for one to whom one is not married to, nor for one who has failed to fulfill one's obligation to one's spouse, such as by a  wife who has been disrespectful towards her husband. 

Biblical intimate marital love is not the same as romantic "love". Intimate marital love is of substance, stemming from the commitment to God first, and then in one's commitment to God, to one's spouse. It has the possibility of being as steadfast as both spouses commitment to God. Romantic "love" is an empty feeling of love which hinges on the unstable shift of emotion and feelings. As such, it is unstable, capricious, and untrustworthy. Many have been snared by romantic "love", only to suffer deep pain.

Such a wife who when she fails to fulfill her obligation towards her husband should not be expecting or striving for intimate marital love, until she humbles herself and repents. The repentance of the Shulamite may be said to be indicated by the reconciliation between the husband and wife in Song of Solomon 6:13 where it is the husband who is asking her to return, and not where she is striving for such marital love to be lavished upon her. However, even then, she lets such love grow in her after she truly submits to him in Song of Solomon 8:1-3.

Thus, this clearly indicates the marriage is not founded on romantic "love", but rather, agape love for God first, and then one's spouse, as demonstrated by commitment to the vow to God to honour the covenant.  Nor should one be seeking in the sense of striving for intimate marital love from one's spouse unless one has fulfilled one's commitment in agape love to one's spouse. One must strive to love God and then one's spouse with agape love, and such intimate marital love will follow.

The vow to the spouse hinges on the vow to God, rather than that the vow to God hinges on the vow to the spouse. For one's love for God must be far greater that one's love for any other person, including a husband or wife, so that one may obey God. Jesus made that extremely clear, black and white:

If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple (Luke 14:26).

It is such love for God, and love of Jesus from which only true Biblical intimate marital love can follow. For all true agape love is from God:

He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love.
 
In this was manifested the love of God toward us, because that God sent his only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through him.

Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.

 (1 John 4:8-10).

Agape love is far better than intimate marital love. Indeed, this is a bold thing to say in an age where people in the Church are so obsessed with finding a spouse, and worried that they will not be able to.  

For agape love is the love of God which never changes, never wavers and never dies for those who obey Him. Do not place your hope in intimate marital love love, or finding it is only a temporal thing on this earth that is passing away. It belongs only to this life:

But this I say, brethren, the time is short: it remaineth, that both they that have wives be as though they had none;
And they that weep, as though they wept not; and they that rejoice, as though they rejoiced not; and they that buy, as though they possessed not;
And they that use this world, as not abusing it: for the fashion of this world passeth away.

(1 Corinthians 7:29-31).

The love of God is eternal. Intimate marital love is temporal. Intimate marital love is good where it is true and pure, but the love of God is far far far better. Be satisfied with the love of God.
 
The love of God is that which desires those who hate God to be saved from his just wrath against them for their sins, such as lying, stealing, using His Name in vain, fornication, adultery, homosexuality and approval of such sins (Romans 1:18-32).

But for "God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life" (John 3:16). His Son is Jesus Christ is God in the flesh, who became a Man, to died for your sins so that God can take His just wrath against you. 

You broke God's law, and Jesus paid your fine, so that God can dismiss his case against you. So, turn from your sins, and put your faith in Jesus today. Stop seeking to do good for God as our righteous works are like filthy rags (Isaiah 64:6). Turn to Christ today while you still have time.








 





















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