There is much talk about Biblical womanhood in the Church, which indeed an important topic. However, owing to the confusion about the subject by many people because of misinterpretation and misapplication of Scripture, this subject has become controversial and difficult to understand.
Many attribute the controversial nature of the subject of Biblical womanhood in the eyes of today's Church to the influence of feminism in the Church. While it is true that much of the controversy is owing to many women being poisoned by feminism, there are also legitimate genuine concerns about certain purported teachings in the Church on Biblical womanhood. Such teachings that involve a perversion of Scripture that is being used to oppress women, which is a concern that warrants discussion. The use of Scripture of oppress people, not just women, is a very real concern.
All discussion on Biblical womanhood must address the fundamental question: what is a real woman? A real woman is one who is worthy of respect, and emulating. That is precisely where the heated contention lies, as to what makes a woman worthy of respect and emulation.
Scripture upholds many women who are real women, one worthy of such respect and emulation, to be treated as a example for all women to follow. They include Mary, the mother of Jesus, Sarah, Miriam, Queen Esther, Ruth, Deborah, Anna the prophetess, Proverbs 31 woman and the Shulamite woman in the Song of Songs. These are all women who are spoken highly of because they were exemplified the highest of virtue. Such women were virtuous because they conformed to what God made them to be, a helper, of which the key virtues are to be kind, wise and strong.
The Scripture declare why God created woman: "And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him" (Genesis 2:18). She is a helpmeet. A helpmeet's role is not simply 'a little helper' in that derogatory way that feminists wrongly imagine it to mean, owing to their own proud and arrogant hearts, having even the arrogant to think that men are to serve her, and be her slave, appeasing her in whatever way she demands, just because she is 'woman'.
At the same time, ultra-conservative evangelical Christians have also likewise misinterpreted what it means to be a helpmeet of man to ways that are at least as damaging at the 'christian feminist' view which seeks to render an egalitarian view of gender roles in which both the husband and wife are 'heads of household'. In contrast to these 'christian feminists' who interpret Scripture to render women illegitimate freedom and liberty, ultra-conservative evangelical Christians render illegitimate limitations and restrictions on what women can and cannot do for the Lord. One renders illegitimate freedom and liberty, while the other renders illegitimate limitations and restrictions. Both are wrong, as both render Scripture to give or impose that which illegitimate.
Illegitimate freedoms and liberties for women are obvious to many. These include the so-called "right" to commit adultery and not be held accountable, or even be rewarded for it, and the so-called "right" to divorce just because she feels like it. These are obviously sins and any woman who does such evil is an evil woman. A more contentious illegitimate freedom for women is her so-called "right" to exercise equal authority to her husband which some argue for, on the basis of Scriptures such as Ephesians 5:21. However, this is a perversion of Scripture as clearly evident in Ephesians 5:23: "For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body." It is clear that he is to be respected as the head of the wife. Anyone who argues against this is violating Scripture and calling God a liar.
However, what is less obvious are illegitimate limitations and restrictions, of which many have been imposed on women, that many do not even realise are illegitimate because they have been so indoctrinated with legalistic thinking on what it means to be a real woman. They think that being a real woman is ultimately to get married and have children, and be a homemaker based on verses such as 1 Timothy 5:14 and Titus 2:4-5 - all while not realising that this an misapplication, that such a path is the only right way for a woman. Some such people do not even think it is right for women to help out in Church, except for in roles such as providing refreshments, and teaching Sunday school children and women Scripture, or that women should sing in Church!
1 Timothy 5:14 which says "I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully" is misinterpreted to mean that all young women must marry, and that if they do not marry, or rush into it, they are committing a sin by virtue of being single. However, that is a serious misunderstanding born out of legalism, which is precisely what imposes illegitimate limitations and restrictions on people. 1 Timothy 5:14 was written in the context of instructing on how to treat widows in the Church:
Honour widows that are widows indeed.
But if any widow have children or nephews, let them learn first to shew piety at home, and to requite their parents: for that is good and acceptable before God.
Now she that is a widow indeed, and desolate, trusteth in God, and continueth in supplications and prayers night and day.
But she that liveth in pleasure is dead while she liveth.
And these things give in charge, that they may be blameless.
But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.
Let not a widow be taken into the number under threescore years old, having been the wife of one man.
Well reported of for good works; if she have brought up children, if she have lodged strangers, if she have washed the saints' feet, if she have relieved the afflicted, if she have diligently followed every good work.
But the younger widows refuse: for when they have begun to wax wanton against Christ, they will marry;
Having damnation, because they have cast off their first faith.
And withal they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house; and not only idle, but tattlers also and busybodies, speaking things which they ought not.
I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.
For some are already turned aside after Satan.
If any man or woman that believeth have widows, let them relieve them, and let not the church be charged; that it may relieve them that are widows indeed.
(1 Timothy 5:3-16).
It is therefore evident that 1 Timothy 5:14 is counsel, not a command, by St Paul that younger widows should, but not must, marry, so that they would be idle gossipers who devoted their time to vacuous pursuits. The assumption was that in their case, they should marry so that they would devote their time to being a virtuous woman as manifest by marrying, bearing children, and taking care of domestic matters. This does not imply that that is the only righteous path, nor does it imply that marriage, child-rearing and home-keeping makes a woman virtuous. Rather, it was advice for that young widows and those like them who would resort to idleness and gossiping if they had no household to care for.
The other misinterpreted Scripture is Titus 2:4-5 which says 'That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.' However, these were instructions concerning how married women may conduct themselves in a virtuous way, applicable only for such women. No where does it imply that women must marry to be virtuous. It is precisely because those married women in the Church were not conducting themselves virtuously that such instructions were given. For some of them were not sober, but drunk, not loving towards their husbands and children, indiscreet, unchaste, not being keepers at home in failing to fulfill their duties as wife and mother, therefore blaspheming God.
The phrase 'keepers at home' is often interpreted to mean being the person who does all the housework. This is nothing but a legalistic interpretation of what it actually means. What it means is to care for domestic matters in helping the husband and rearing the children, seeking their good. It does not mean that a married woman cannot ever leave the house without the guidance of her husband, except for the purpose of shopping or picking children from school, or driving them to different places for school activities as some interpret it to mean. Nor does it mean that she cannot work, and not even in church ministry or evangelism as some claim.
To be clear, I am not in any way suggesting that it is wrong for a wife to not work, or that it is wrong for husband to request that she does not work. That is not wrong at all, but in many cases ideal, owing to the distraction that a career has on a woman in caring for her husband and children, and household duties in those ends.
What I am saying is that to make virtue in women determined by whether she marries, bears children and keeps the home is wrong. If it is marrying, bearing children and keeping the home that determines whether a woman is virtuous, it would mean that female saints of old, like Saint Catherine of Sienna, Saint Lucy, Saint Catherine of Alexandria, St Agnes of Rome, and Saint Clare of Assisi were all unvirtuous.
Saint Catherine of Sienna was an activist, author and theologian, who even became a Doctor of the Church, a honour awarded to only a very few. But of course, in the eyes of these ultra-conservative evangelicals, that is utterly unacceptable and inappropriate! And of course, they would look down on her as well as the many of other saints for having never married, scoffing at them for having never enjoyed the (purported) comforts of marriage and family, with the endless sex and endless money that it brings. "Oh, how sad!", these ultra-conservative evangelicals would say condescendingly, "Look at their lives, and how they never married and had sex. How sad and lonely these women would have been!".
The truth is that to be a real woman is to be kind, wise, and strong. For these are the characteristics that together constitute what it means to be a helpmeet. To be a helpmeet does not mean to be weak, passive, timid and relegated to obscurity, as ultra-conservatives make it out to be, by implicitly equating virtuousness in a woman with weakness, passiveness, a lack of intelligence and being relegated to obscurity, doing nothing of great impact. Rather, it is the complete opposite. For indeed, how can one be a good helpmeet if one is weak, passive, and timid! One must be strong!
To be a helpmeet means to have co-dominion over the earth with man as Genesis 1:26-28:
And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.
So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.
And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.
Having such dominion over the earth means to serve God first and foremost by using the resources that God gives to one. It is God's purpose one must find and one must live for, not that of a husband and children. Loving one's husband and children are only means to that end if one has called a woman to marry and bear children.
A real woman therefore one who knows her God-given purpose and pursues it. She is strong, not weak. She is caring, not uncaring and selfish, living only for her own pleasure. She is kind, always seeking to help others, and showing compassion towards the needy. She is clothed in great wisdom, knowing not only right from wrong, and understanding a great deal, but knowing how to apply understanding in all she does. She is fruitful in pursuing her purpose and makes great impact. Such a woman is one who will always find favour with the Lord in all that she does.
Many attribute the controversial nature of the subject of Biblical womanhood in the eyes of today's Church to the influence of feminism in the Church. While it is true that much of the controversy is owing to many women being poisoned by feminism, there are also legitimate genuine concerns about certain purported teachings in the Church on Biblical womanhood. Such teachings that involve a perversion of Scripture that is being used to oppress women, which is a concern that warrants discussion. The use of Scripture of oppress people, not just women, is a very real concern.
All discussion on Biblical womanhood must address the fundamental question: what is a real woman? A real woman is one who is worthy of respect, and emulating. That is precisely where the heated contention lies, as to what makes a woman worthy of respect and emulation.
Scripture upholds many women who are real women, one worthy of such respect and emulation, to be treated as a example for all women to follow. They include Mary, the mother of Jesus, Sarah, Miriam, Queen Esther, Ruth, Deborah, Anna the prophetess, Proverbs 31 woman and the Shulamite woman in the Song of Songs. These are all women who are spoken highly of because they were exemplified the highest of virtue. Such women were virtuous because they conformed to what God made them to be, a helper, of which the key virtues are to be kind, wise and strong.
The Scripture declare why God created woman: "And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him" (Genesis 2:18). She is a helpmeet. A helpmeet's role is not simply 'a little helper' in that derogatory way that feminists wrongly imagine it to mean, owing to their own proud and arrogant hearts, having even the arrogant to think that men are to serve her, and be her slave, appeasing her in whatever way she demands, just because she is 'woman'.
At the same time, ultra-conservative evangelical Christians have also likewise misinterpreted what it means to be a helpmeet of man to ways that are at least as damaging at the 'christian feminist' view which seeks to render an egalitarian view of gender roles in which both the husband and wife are 'heads of household'. In contrast to these 'christian feminists' who interpret Scripture to render women illegitimate freedom and liberty, ultra-conservative evangelical Christians render illegitimate limitations and restrictions on what women can and cannot do for the Lord. One renders illegitimate freedom and liberty, while the other renders illegitimate limitations and restrictions. Both are wrong, as both render Scripture to give or impose that which illegitimate.
Illegitimate freedoms and liberties for women are obvious to many. These include the so-called "right" to commit adultery and not be held accountable, or even be rewarded for it, and the so-called "right" to divorce just because she feels like it. These are obviously sins and any woman who does such evil is an evil woman. A more contentious illegitimate freedom for women is her so-called "right" to exercise equal authority to her husband which some argue for, on the basis of Scriptures such as Ephesians 5:21. However, this is a perversion of Scripture as clearly evident in Ephesians 5:23: "For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body." It is clear that he is to be respected as the head of the wife. Anyone who argues against this is violating Scripture and calling God a liar.
However, what is less obvious are illegitimate limitations and restrictions, of which many have been imposed on women, that many do not even realise are illegitimate because they have been so indoctrinated with legalistic thinking on what it means to be a real woman. They think that being a real woman is ultimately to get married and have children, and be a homemaker based on verses such as 1 Timothy 5:14 and Titus 2:4-5 - all while not realising that this an misapplication, that such a path is the only right way for a woman. Some such people do not even think it is right for women to help out in Church, except for in roles such as providing refreshments, and teaching Sunday school children and women Scripture, or that women should sing in Church!
1 Timothy 5:14 which says "I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully" is misinterpreted to mean that all young women must marry, and that if they do not marry, or rush into it, they are committing a sin by virtue of being single. However, that is a serious misunderstanding born out of legalism, which is precisely what imposes illegitimate limitations and restrictions on people. 1 Timothy 5:14 was written in the context of instructing on how to treat widows in the Church:
Honour widows that are widows indeed.
But if any widow have children or nephews, let them learn first to shew piety at home, and to requite their parents: for that is good and acceptable before God.
Now she that is a widow indeed, and desolate, trusteth in God, and continueth in supplications and prayers night and day.
But she that liveth in pleasure is dead while she liveth.
And these things give in charge, that they may be blameless.
But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.
Let not a widow be taken into the number under threescore years old, having been the wife of one man.
Well reported of for good works; if she have brought up children, if she have lodged strangers, if she have washed the saints' feet, if she have relieved the afflicted, if she have diligently followed every good work.
But the younger widows refuse: for when they have begun to wax wanton against Christ, they will marry;
Having damnation, because they have cast off their first faith.
And withal they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house; and not only idle, but tattlers also and busybodies, speaking things which they ought not.
I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.
For some are already turned aside after Satan.
If any man or woman that believeth have widows, let them relieve them, and let not the church be charged; that it may relieve them that are widows indeed.
(1 Timothy 5:3-16).
It is therefore evident that 1 Timothy 5:14 is counsel, not a command, by St Paul that younger widows should, but not must, marry, so that they would be idle gossipers who devoted their time to vacuous pursuits. The assumption was that in their case, they should marry so that they would devote their time to being a virtuous woman as manifest by marrying, bearing children, and taking care of domestic matters. This does not imply that that is the only righteous path, nor does it imply that marriage, child-rearing and home-keeping makes a woman virtuous. Rather, it was advice for that young widows and those like them who would resort to idleness and gossiping if they had no household to care for.
The other misinterpreted Scripture is Titus 2:4-5 which says 'That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.' However, these were instructions concerning how married women may conduct themselves in a virtuous way, applicable only for such women. No where does it imply that women must marry to be virtuous. It is precisely because those married women in the Church were not conducting themselves virtuously that such instructions were given. For some of them were not sober, but drunk, not loving towards their husbands and children, indiscreet, unchaste, not being keepers at home in failing to fulfill their duties as wife and mother, therefore blaspheming God.
The phrase 'keepers at home' is often interpreted to mean being the person who does all the housework. This is nothing but a legalistic interpretation of what it actually means. What it means is to care for domestic matters in helping the husband and rearing the children, seeking their good. It does not mean that a married woman cannot ever leave the house without the guidance of her husband, except for the purpose of shopping or picking children from school, or driving them to different places for school activities as some interpret it to mean. Nor does it mean that she cannot work, and not even in church ministry or evangelism as some claim.
To be clear, I am not in any way suggesting that it is wrong for a wife to not work, or that it is wrong for husband to request that she does not work. That is not wrong at all, but in many cases ideal, owing to the distraction that a career has on a woman in caring for her husband and children, and household duties in those ends.
What I am saying is that to make virtue in women determined by whether she marries, bears children and keeps the home is wrong. If it is marrying, bearing children and keeping the home that determines whether a woman is virtuous, it would mean that female saints of old, like Saint Catherine of Sienna, Saint Lucy, Saint Catherine of Alexandria, St Agnes of Rome, and Saint Clare of Assisi were all unvirtuous.
Saint Catherine of Sienna was an activist, author and theologian, who even became a Doctor of the Church, a honour awarded to only a very few. But of course, in the eyes of these ultra-conservative evangelicals, that is utterly unacceptable and inappropriate! And of course, they would look down on her as well as the many of other saints for having never married, scoffing at them for having never enjoyed the (purported) comforts of marriage and family, with the endless sex and endless money that it brings. "Oh, how sad!", these ultra-conservative evangelicals would say condescendingly, "Look at their lives, and how they never married and had sex. How sad and lonely these women would have been!".
The truth is that to be a real woman is to be kind, wise, and strong. For these are the characteristics that together constitute what it means to be a helpmeet. To be a helpmeet does not mean to be weak, passive, timid and relegated to obscurity, as ultra-conservatives make it out to be, by implicitly equating virtuousness in a woman with weakness, passiveness, a lack of intelligence and being relegated to obscurity, doing nothing of great impact. Rather, it is the complete opposite. For indeed, how can one be a good helpmeet if one is weak, passive, and timid! One must be strong!
To be a helpmeet means to have co-dominion over the earth with man as Genesis 1:26-28:
And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.
So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.
And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.
Having such dominion over the earth means to serve God first and foremost by using the resources that God gives to one. It is God's purpose one must find and one must live for, not that of a husband and children. Loving one's husband and children are only means to that end if one has called a woman to marry and bear children.
A real woman therefore one who knows her God-given purpose and pursues it. She is strong, not weak. She is caring, not uncaring and selfish, living only for her own pleasure. She is kind, always seeking to help others, and showing compassion towards the needy. She is clothed in great wisdom, knowing not only right from wrong, and understanding a great deal, but knowing how to apply understanding in all she does. She is fruitful in pursuing her purpose and makes great impact. Such a woman is one who will always find favour with the Lord in all that she does.
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